it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
