mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
