We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
