The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
