I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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