I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
