I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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