I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
