so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize