when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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