It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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