come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
