If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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