Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
