Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize