Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize