"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
