this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just got carded by a ten year old.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
