just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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