Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
