Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
