dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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