I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
