the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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