yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
