I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
