shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize