So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
