ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
