i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
