Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
