She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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