I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
