Apparently you make a good broom.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i will never coherently bang her
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
