We're like a lot better than the average bears
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
