the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
