Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
