This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
