I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
