Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
