your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
