I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize