There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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