I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize