At least make sure they are 18
Why
Someone shit on the floor
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
