You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
