how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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