well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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