I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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