So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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