would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How does it feel to date your dad?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
