have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
