Nicole vs. Life
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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