my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
not ubering you a puppy
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