when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
