I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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