Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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