I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
