It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Everyone says I win the strip club
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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