If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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