She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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