Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
