Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
