NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
