Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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