i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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