I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pooping to opera.
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