First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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