This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
