So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
His nipple licking is glorious
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