Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I supernannyed him into submission
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
